I’ve never thought of myself as a controlling person. I like to think that I am laid back, relaxed and easy-going. Lately, however, I’ve been noticing my need for control. Not just control over the choices in my life, but control over small, silly stuff. For example, I’m the one that does pretty much all of the cleaning in our house. It’s just the way it works for us, and I’ve come to accept that and be fine with it. This means, however, that I’ve developed a system and like to stick to it. When Theo does help out with dishes or cooking or cleaning the bathroom I find myself getting all squinty and bothered because he isn’t doing it right.
‘Right’ as in my way. Part of me knows that I should just be grateful he’s cleaning anything at all and let him do it his own way. His way is right too and just because it’s different from the way I do it doesn’t mean he’s doing a bad job. Oh, but this bothers me so much and I don’t like that it does.
Yesterday I came across a great article outlining 15 things to give up in order to be happy. It surprised me how many of the things on the list I identified with. Here’s the one about control:
Give Up Your Need For Control
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better that will make you feel.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu
YES. I need to print this off and frame it.
Here’s the link to the whole article: http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/
It’s been very interesting to identify this need for control and try to use it for good instead of evil. I don’t want to be a nag, harping on Theo when he doesn’t wash the glasses first, before the cutlery, because the cutlery is the dirtiest. When I nag him about stupid stuff like that it just makes him want to do the dishes less. I would hate it if someone told me how to wash the dishes. So, starting today I’m going to try a lot harder to let go of controlling the small, insignificant things. I think that will make us all happier.